Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Ten Commandments of Child Support

You're a responsible, loving, divorced parent. Your children are in the primary custody of your ex spouse. You work hard and pay your child support. One day you open your mail and you get an unexpected love letter from the State Division of Child Support. "Excuse us," says the notice, "but you owe $14,000 in back child support. You also owe current support of $900 per month. But don't worry, if you should miss a payment, we'll take half your paycheck until you get caught up."

This may sound like a nightmare, but hundreds of non-custodial parents each year report that they are victims of mistakes in the collection of child support. For those who want to present their legitimate objections to the state, I humbly offer the Ten Commandments of Child Support.

1. Thou shalt keep a log...

At some point in your struggle to get a fair decision, you will need to advise DCS or the court of what has happened chronologically. A log of events is a powerful tool for justice. The human memory is not very reliable in times of great stress, like when you are asked to testify under oath. A log can help you (and your attorney) present a clear, accurate picture of what has really happened.

2. Thou shalt confirm by letter...

Working with a beaurocracy is sometimes like the Twilight Zone. You know you had a conversation in which you agreed that payments would be made in a certain way, but when you open the final DCS order, (you begin to hear that funky organ and bongo music and Rod Serling drones, "welcome to the twilight zone...",) well, that conversation never occurred! To

avoid errors and memory lapses, follow up conversations and agreements with a letter to DCS summarizing the conversation.

3. Thou shalt organize thine documents...

You're going to be asked for a load of records, including back tax returns, pay stubs, canceled checks, receipts, and so forth. You'd better bite the bullet right now and get organized.

4. Thou shalt file modifications...

Perhaps the biggest error made by support paying parents is to stop or reduce support when facts change (like when you are laid off) without filing, in court, a petition to modify support. It doesn't matter that you and your ex spouse agree. It doesn't matter that circumstances have really changed. Unless you file the petition to modify, the court can order payment in full per the original order of support. If you file a petition based on the same facts (i.e. job loss,) the court can reduce the support amount back to the date of the petition to modify. If you lose your job and have no income you'll continue to incur the same support debt unless you file a petition. It's like a cab at the curb; you're not riding in it, but the meter is still ticking.

5. Thou shalt not make side deals...

You can't make a side deal with your ex that binds DCS; it has to be approved by the court. If you owe $500 a month under the decree, and you agree instead to pay your ex's $600 a month rent, look out. If your ex receives public assistance, your rental payment will not be used to offset your support obligation. You still owe the full $500 a month to DCS to repay the public assistance grant.

6. Thou shalt be pro-active...

Don't wait for bad things to happen. Example: you don't pay for three months, and nothing happens, so you let it slide some more. Before you know it, five years has gone by, and you end up with a monstrous lien on your house.

7. Thou shalt respond promptly...

Respond to your notices and calls from DCS. I know, it's worse than the dentist. But attending to a small cavity now can prevent the future need for extracting a molar.

8. Thou shalt not digress...

Keep relevant; stick to the facts. The more you digress into the personal aspects of your divorce, the less energy you'll have to focus on the real issues.

9. Thou shalt be courteous...

Easier said than done. If you are all paid up, and the state is calling you a deadbeat, it's hard to keep your cool when you present your case to DCS. But remember, you are dealing with people, and people tend to get upset when they are screamed at. The best way to be heard is to be calm, professional and courteous.

10. Thou shalt not retaliate...

If your ex is malicious, or denies your visitation, file a motion in court to find your ex in contempt of court. Don't suspend your child support payments. Denial of visitation is no defense in Washington for non-support. And for heaven's sake, don't take your frustrations out on the DCS workers!

Obey the Ten Commandments of Paying Child Support. If you do, you may not go to Heaven, but it is less likely you'll find yourself in Hell.